A Harmony of Water and Weald Read online

But I miss the sea

  I miss moving naturally

  I miss being swift

  I miss catching fish.

  I tried to catch a land-fish yesterday.

  It was faster than I was

  And people yelled at me.

  I don’t see why I shouldn’t

  Go after land-fish.

  I’m sure they make good food.

  I tried to get up this morning,

  But my feet hurt and I miss

  My tail and I miss swimming. :(

  I walked, just to the window,

  Because it was too early for anyone

  To come and help me dress.

  It hurt. T_T

  I do not mind the pain.

  Usually.

  Today, it was just a reminder

  Of everything that I’ve lost.

  Everything I gave up

  To find love.

  Why couldn’t I have been happy

  With my sisters?

  I’m a mermaid.

  If love was so important

  We would understand it.

  I miss my sisters.

  I miss hunting with them.

  I miss singing with them.

  I miss moving freely.

  I want to go home.

  I want to be a mermaid again.

  I want to be me.

  After I walked to the window,

  I shuffled back to bed.

  As close to eel-quick as I could.

  If I go faster, it will hurt more,

  But it will hurt shorter.

  And then I snuggled back

  Under the duvet.

  Duvets are thick,

  Filled with feathers and warm.

  The weight of mine is

  Strangely calming. Soothing.

  I pull it over my head,

  Burrowing like sand-crab,

  And pretending that I’m still asleep.

  If I’m asleep,

  I won’t feel anything.

  If I’m asleep,

  I can pretend that I’m still a mermaid.

  I don’t want to

  Be a tall-crab anymore.

  Cutlery

  I thought the most difficult thing

  About being a tall-crab would be

  The movements, the feet, the legs.

  But they are… tolerable. Mostly.

  The most difficult thing

  Is the teeth. I thought tall-crabs

  Would have teeth like ours,

  Sharp and pointy,

  Made to rend flesh quickly,

  But they are not.

  Their teeth are dull

  And flat and tearing

  Through flesh is hard.

  It’s strange.

  It’s one of the things

  Tall-crabs use tools for.

  They have knives

  And forks and spoons.

  I do not see the point

  Of spoons. :/ You can just

  Drink whatever you’re

  Eating with the spoon.

  Knives are… Knives help

  You with meat by letting

  You tear it up into

  Smaller chunks like

  Your teeth would

  Otherwise do.

  Knives are useful. ^_^

  They’re clumsy

  And strange and I

  Don’t like the way

  They feel in my hand,

  But they’re useful. ^_^

  Forks are odd.

  You use a fork to keep

  Your meat in place

  As you use the knife

  To cut it into smaller

  Pieces. I tried without

  Once and it wasn’t easy.

  But you also use forks

  To eat the meat and that’s

  Odd. Why don’t tall-crabs

  Just eat with their hands? :/

  I think because they think

  It’s easier that way.

  The meat’s already on

  The fork, so why not

  Use the fork to eat the meat?

  I still think it’d be

  Easier to eat if you

  Used the tools once

  And then ate it all

  At once, but tall-crabs

  Got really odd when

  I tried to do that. :/

  I never would

  Have thought that

  Tall-crabs would have

  So many strange rules

  About what you can

  And cannot do.

  The tools are just

  A way to make

  You stick to those

  Rules and to make

  The rules visible.

  I’m glad of that

  Because I wouldn’t know

  What the rules are without

  The tools to tell me. ^_^

  I’ve had to learn

  So much

  Since my prince

  Found me in the water

  And they pulled me

  Onto the deck. O_O

  I didn’t think there’d be so much!

  It’s frustrating when

  I want to ask questions

  And I can’t get anyone to

  Understand what I’m asking.

  I think I would like

  Learning to be a tall-crab

  Better if I could speak

  To more of them. :(

  If I’m making up

  My own stories about

  What tall-crabs are doing

  And why then I might

  As well have stayed

  In the sea with my sisters.

  I miss them.

  I miss not having

  To use tools to eat.

  I miss us all cuddling

  Together on the rocks.

  I don’t miss always

  Watching for sharks.

  I think perhaps

  That’s the best thing

  About being a tall-crab

  Who isn’t near the sea.

  I don’t have to worry

  About sharks. ^_^

  Instead, I have to worry

  About clothes and this ‘cutlery’

  And rules about how

  To sit and how to walk

  And when to curtsey.

  And what a curtsey is. O_O

  Some days I go

  To bed with my head

  So full of tall-crab things

  I have to wonder if

  There is still room for me.

  I haven’t even had

  A chance to look

  For ‘love’ yet!

  I hope tall-crabs will

  Teach me about it

  Eventually. I don’t

  Want to become

  Sea foam, after all.

  Today, I think,

  Will not be a day that

  I learn about ‘love’

  Because today

  Is a day I learn

  About cutlery

  And letters.

  The letters at least

  Will help me talk

  To people! ^_^

  I think.

  That’ll be fun! ^_^

  Land-shark

  This is a cat.

  A little land-shark,

  Chasing little scurrying creatures.

  Those are mice.

  I have not held a mouse before,

  But I have held a cat.

  A cat is... soft.

  And strange.

  I’ve felt fur before,

  With the horses,

  Though cats are less happy

  If you stroke it the wrong way.

  I do not understand fur.

  My sisters and I are sleek.

  Much of the sea is sleek.

  It helps us swim,

  Being sleek.

 
But cats have fur

  And it can only go one way

  Comfortably.

  I don’t understand cats. :/

  How do they run so quickly

  When they have fur?

  Many animals on land

  Run quickly with fur.

  It must be the air

  And how it is different from water.

  This is my cat.

  It is so tiny

  It fits in my hand. ^_^

  It is red,

  Like my hair.

  Hair is strange.

  I wish I could

  Get rid of it like

  I have seen some tall-crabs do.

  But I do not know how. :/

  My cat is a kitten.

  Tall-crabs have so many words!

  I did not know how many words

  You could have for things! O_O

  My cat is a gift

  And it likes playing

  With the ribbons

  On my dress.

  It also likes sleeping

  On my head.

  Its tail tickles

  My nose.

  And it likes to attack

  My toes when I wriggle them.

  I wish it would not do that. :/

  Cats have sharp claws,

  And I do not appreciate

  Being hurt this way.

  My feet already hurt enough. :(

  But I can’t convince it to

  Attack my hands instead.

  I like this cat. ^_^

  In the sea, I might have tried

  To eat it because it is smaller than I.

  I tried here, with another land-beast

  Called a ‘dog’ and people were angry.

  I don’t know how tall-crabs decide

  What is food and what is not! T_T

  But the kitten is nice.

  I suppose, if it is mine,

  I could eat it?

  I don’t want to.

  Its prr-prr is soothing

  On the days when I don’t want to walk.

  And its tongue is rough

  and reminds me,

  Just a little,

  Of home.

  “What are you going to call her?”

  My prince asks.

  We are out walking

  In the gardens,

  Flanked as ever

  By men who do not speak to us.

  Perhaps they can’t,

  Like I can’t. :(

  I shake my head.

  How can I call it anything,

  When I cannot speak?

  I try to call it ‘shark’

  With my hands.

  It is good to learn speaking

  With your hands.

  It is good to be able to

  Communicate with one another.

  But I do not know what to call

  The little land-shark kitten

  Because I don’t know how to explain.

  “Oh.” My prince looks

  A little awkward.

  Sometimes he forgets

  That I cannot speak

  With my voice.

  “Sorry. I forgot.”

  We settle on the grass,

  To the great annoyance

  Of the tall-crabs following us.

  “Shall I name her for you?”

  I nod. I do not mind

  Him naming the kitten.

  I’m sure he knows what to call

  A land-shark kitten better

  Than I do.

  And I will not be using it

  To call the kitten anyway. ^_^

  “I’ll name her ‘Red Ocean’,” he says.

  With a lopsided grin, he adds,

  “It’s not terribly original,

  But it’ll set her apart from

  The other cats easily enough

  And remind people she’s yours.”

  I smile at him,

  And say ‘thank you’.

  He mimics the gesture,

  Because we are both still learning

  And he has less chance to practice than I.

  I wonder what a red ocean looks like,

  From below the surface.

  I wonder if the kitten is as happy

  With its tall-crab name as a tall-crab

  Or whether it would prefer

  Something else.

  “Have you seen the library?”

  My prince’s voice pulls me

  From my thoughts.

  I shake my head

  And he is up, almost eel-quick,

  And pulls me to my feet beside him.

  “I should show you the library!”

  He says, bouncing a little on his toes.

  I am beginning to notice

  That I am walking too much,

  But my prince looks so excited.

  How can I say ‘no’?

  I let him lead me

  To the library

  And wonder what

  To expect from a room

  Filled with books

  And whether we’ll find

  My kitten there. ^_^

  Dogs Are Not for Eating

  Dogs are not for eating. :/

  I was hungry and

  I saw this land-beast

  Running around in

  Circles and it looked

  Like it would be easy

  To catch, so I ran

  After it.

  It was tiny and

  It wasn’t part of a school

  And it looked like

  It would be good to eat.

  I was walking with

  The Queen and her maids

  And they were teaching me

  Proper etiquette, which

  Seems rather silly to me,

  But it matters to my sisters

  On land so I am trying to learn. ^_^

  I saw this small, white

  Land-creature that didn’t

  Seem to be doing anything.

  My stomach felt empty,

  So I chased after it.

  Tall-crabs are so strange!

  They were shouting at me

  When I bit the creature’s leg. :(

  All it got me was a mouth full

  Of fur, a headache and trouble

  Walking back to my chambers. :(

  I keep forgetting how dull

  Tall-crab teeth are. ><

  And the beast bit me back,

  But it bit into my hair and

  It didn’t hurt because my

  Hair is so long and thick.

  I guess hair is good for that. :/

  How am I supposed to know

  What animals are for eating

  And what animals are not!

  In the sea, my sisters and I

  Eat anything that we can catch

  Sometimes hunting alone

  And sometimes together.

  Food is food.

  Tall-crabs…

  Have food and not-food.

  Dogs are not-food.

  I suppose because they

  Help hunt for other food?

  But those dogs are big

  And menacing.

  Not this tiny ball

  Of furry fluff

  That could fit into

  A water bucket.

  It seems a waste

  Of good food to me. :/

  Dogs aren’t scared of you.

  They’re easy prey

  Like that. It’s the teeth

  And the fact that they

  Too eat meat that is

  The danger with them.

  Horses are not-food.

  Except the times

  When they are food?

  The same with goats,

  Sheep, cows, pigs…

  How? How do tall-crabs

  Know when something

  Is
food or something that

  Helps you get other food? T_T

  Do they just tell by looking?

  But one horse looks just like

  Another, so how can they tell

  The difference between them?

  I am so, so confused

  By this and I don’t know

  How to ask anyone to explain!

  I’m not sure they would. :(

  The Queen was very angry

  And I was certain that

  She was going to fight me

  The way one of my sisters

  Might have if I’d been home,

  But she didn’t. :/

  The more time I spend

  With tall-crabs, the less

  I understand them.

  Why did I ever think

  That becoming a tall-crab

  Was a good idea? T_T

  I’m lying in bed now,

  Because I took a long time

  Chasing the dog across uneven

  Ground and through rough

  Gravelly paths. My shoes

  Are in tatters on the floor.

  My feet are red and aching. :(

  The dog yipped and barked

  At me as I chased it down

  These paths to where I finally

  Caught it in my arms.

  It licked my face,

  So, even if it’s not

  Food, I had a good

  Reason to bite it. >>

  Tall-crabs are strange.

  As the Sea Sings a Susurrus Lullaby

  I rest my head on my princess’s shoulder.

  Sand tickles between my toes as I wriggle them.

  I will never get enough of sand. ^_^

  Not beach-sand,

  Ticklish and sticky,

  With the scent of the sea lingering

  As the waves push it away.

  My prince is not so keen. :(

  He is perched a little way away,

  But he has an easel now,

  And I know that, when he peeks

  From behind the canvas,

  He is smiling at us.

  My princess rests her head on mine,

  Hair silky soft against my cheek.

  Our hands are intertwined,

  Buried in heaps of fabric

  That we wore just for our prince,

  For his sketches.

  We have been here almost a year now,

  All three of us, together, my family and I.

  There are days, rare ones,

  Where I still miss my sisters

  And the sea.

  The princess squeezes my hand,

  Light as the breeze playing with our hair.

  “Maris...” she breathes against my ear.

  I squeeze back,

  The only reply I can give right now.

  Well, that and I can use my foot

  To throw sand at her. ^_~

  My princess shrieks, then laughs

  As she pulls me down into the sand.

  I laugh with her,

  All the sand caught in our hair,

  And in our clothes,

  And our noses touch

  Briefly

  Before we giggle at each other

  And my prince is running towards us.

  And quick as an eel,

  My princess presses her lips against mine,